**Mistakes are THE way of learning that has the most sticking POWER. Consequences are TEACHERS.

**GUILT is okay. It tells me I DID a wrong/hurtful/dangerous thing. And there is a choice to not do it again.
**SHAME is not okay. It tells me I AM a failure/mistake/bad person.
**GRACE travels further down the road to heal brokenness and disappointment than DISAPPROVAL.
**BELIEVING in me TOTALLY and COMPLETELY changes my trajectory. (Read: wise vs. unwise choices, open vs. SHUT DOWN communication, etc.)
**CRITICISM in constant and consistent doses sends the message that I’m not lovable when I most need to feel that I am: When I’ve lashed out and been mean-spirited, When I’ve made an unwise choice… It’s not OKAY that I did _______ … AND I won’t HEAR you teach me this if I am ashamed/angry/worried-about-getting-in-trouble.
**LOVE first Always. There is time later (like when I’m settled down and my emotions are regulated) to TEACH and HELP me grow. AND I’ll PROCESS it so much better when my brain allows me to be in a THINKING place instead of a FEELING place.
**Thank YOU for loving me enough to understand me and my developing BRAIN, PERSONHOOD and unique brand of ME-NESS.